They’ve repainted the walls and taped off the rows of metal chairs. They’ve replaced Hudson News with Sweetgreen, Dunkin Donuts with Jamba Juice. No sitting in the seating area if you don’t have a ticket. Workers in fluorescent vests ask to scan your ticket. The ads are synched up so that at any given time you might be surrounded by three all-caps announcements about half-off hoagies at Wawa. Now they’ve got three televisions showing a rotating line-up of ads. This is before they put automated turnstiles and plasma screens everywhere. The train station is just a place where you get on and off trains. Twitter is just a place where people post toilet thoughts and selfies. Tweet draft: “We have nothing to fear from the incels - Big Sex is too powerful.” The stock market would collapse the elites would revolt. What would a world with Universal Basic Mistresses (UBM) look like? Pandemonium, probably. I wonder what would happen if the incels disappeared.
#Keep it simple and stupid professional
Many call themselves involuntarily celibate, or “incels.” Their collective demand for orgasms sustains strip clubs, adult video stores, online porn sites, professional wrestling and Hooters. Entire industries run on the frustration of sexually unfulfilled men. Or a treat for the mistress.ĭo all these men have mistresses? Impossible, sociologically speaking.
Two cinnamon sugars and a dozen pretzel nuggets. A supporting ode - miles and miles of undulating dark fabric / boundless pinstripes and houndstooths on every side expanding / heaving waves of wool and polyester breathing convulsive breaths / and not an ass in sight. My working thesis: Men’s Warehouse slacks are the unwitting converse of Lululemon yoga pants. They are arranged in order of increasing pants sag.
#Keep it simple and stupid skin
I pick dead skin off my cuticles and watch men in suits line up at Auntie Anne’s. We have to wear our uniforms even while taking exams. I’ve just gotten off the train from school. I’m sweating in a plaid kilt and gray stockings. at Jefferson Station in Central Philadelphia. The result? A remixed KISS principle - calories in, brainpower out. Multiply that number by 60 and subtract a bit off the top to account for diminishing returns. In an approximate theoretical model, each Dorito chip corresponds to 10 minutes of concentration. You need raw fuel to keep the neurons firing. Necessary inputs: time and energy - but mostly energy.
Required skills: find limiting reactants, calculate pH, understand the principles of electrochemistry. Know-how, on the other hand, is straightforward. It’s difficult, psychologically taxing stuff. You need to get and stay in “the zone.” You need to cultivate a meditative practice every day for years. You need a cool head with all cylinders firing. Keep it simple, stupid.Īn exam is an assessment of two things - equipoise (don’t freak out) and know-how (get the right answers). Follow the syllogism and reap the rewards. According to my calculations, one family-sized bag of Doritos contains roughly the energy necessary to ensure maximum cram efficiency.
My plan is simple: scarf down the Doritos at the train station, then head home and study all night for my chemistry final tomorrow. In the moment, the family-size bag of Doritos seems like a good idea.
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